Kate was fairly silly last night. She didn't go out, merely stayed in, getting drunk with an already well-gone Kathryn and a so-so Nico and playing scrabble, until Kat KOed and she had to amuse herself.

( I'll never know if I go to sleep )

... and just checking my exam timetable now. Apparently, I have two Saturday exams. Both at 9am. What. The. Hell.

I wrote a 50,000 word novel in 30 days!



(And now I have to sleep. Alot. But it will be the good kind of sleep, which doesn't need to end. AT least until 11 tomorrow when I have a flat viewing. Becaus elike hell are we staying with UNITE next year, it's too much hassle and money for what we get and I'd love to live with Laura and Morag next year, even if Morag isn't so keen on it just yet. We'll change her mind!

Eeeep! I hope it's nice!!)

I cannot take an all-nighter tonightas I'd liek to (and I dearly need to, considering I still have 10,000 words to write (be not fooled by my Nano bar, it lies!) because I have a tutorial and work tomorrow. But yeah, I'm gonna be up for at least another hour, will hopefully get a couple thousand words in then,and then get up early and avoid lecture slong enough to finish! This is how it looks on Day 30 of "This bastard is going down with me!" month:

1. I've started adding chapter numbers again. This has bulked my novel up by around 20 words. Yay!

2. I''ve had about 8 instances of considering putting spaces in between ever character I type. Think how many words that will give me, considering that most words I use in this are kinda long.

3. I am not even nearly at the end, don't know how we get to the end (just that there will be a few deaths and the whole "Stefan was being a bit of a psychopath, but had reasons for at least some of his actions" will be explained) or which of my brothers is evil (it was going to be Keiron, using Clara the whole time, except now she's the one running away from their relationsship- *cough* mirroringtheauthorslife. And- I like him too much! So I may just cop otu and make Samath be the big conniving user. Even though Keiron would suit it so much more, IF I COULD JUST ACCEPT THAT HE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH CLARA!)

4. I have begun writing backdtories for my recentlyadded and still relatively 2-D characetrs. One of them sounds too much like Paine for her own good. another aounds a little like Kimahri. In fact, if Yuna was a princess and Sin and Seymour were a combined entity that was also Clara's brother, this would pretty much be FFX. I think this makes me happy.

5. My writing style has gone so far down the drain, it makes Hemmingway's look as eloquent and poetic as Shakespeares. i'm fueled with caffiene and pretty much anything that comes into my head goes on paper.

6. I am currently loving and hating Clara and just wishing she'd do something, rather than being a person or being in the right place at the right time, used by ehr brother or Keiron for their own male dominated power struggles. C'mon, girl power!

7. I keep looking at Sarah's word count and thinking, "I'm behind that AND I've got six hours on her?!? Shiiiit..." Must remember that this is not a race even if I am still totally going to beat you :D

8. I am totally using these words in my word count :D

Finish line, T-minus 9,703 words away, :D:D:D

Nano has produced some strange things...

-I skipped right over the part where Clara runs away. I know how she comes to the decision and why. And I initially wrote a sequence for her leaving which is totally Alice down the rabbit hole, Garnet swinging off the palace roof- that I have since decided will be a dream sequence instead. But- I haven't decided yet how her brother will act about it (you know, because if he acts the way I expect him to, he'd have found ehr already and dragged her back and there wouldn't be much story in keeping her in the palace secluded forever) so I dunno how to make her leave.

-Presently, I have (as of last night) sent her and Keiron into an Epic Forest, invented 4 random characters (because having only 3 characters who are presently not dead is a bit too few...) and broken any dissimalarities this story once had with an RPG. Besides a purpose or a place to go (all Clara whined about for a whole chapter is that she left her comfortable manor house and is sleeping out in the forest just to watch Keiron and his brother fight over who doesn't ahve tto gut a rabbit. True story. I would have wanted to hit her, except I kinda saw her point).

-I think I'm very close to finding where this story is freakin' going... Fingers crossed.

-This is how FF this story presently is: I have a little semi-annoying girl who doesn't seem to be there for any real purpose (except to be the White Mage. And she is on the run, after she was almost burned at the stake), a person who mixes magic with swordplay, a Badass Female Warrior, a Guy With A Sword So Big It Must Be Compensating For Something, a Broody Guy With Spear and a Sweet Nice Guy who's pretty much using everybody, only I don't know how yet. Plus, I am considering an airship of some variety. I need only summons or a big yellow chicken now and I'll be happy as a clam.

-I dunno if it's the copious amount of True Blood I watched this week or what, but every character in this story, save the princess, started speaking with a southern accent since my white mage turned up, wtf?

-I make a vow that today (my day off, which should be spending on one of my two Major essays due next week. But won't), I am simultaneously crossing those "10,000 words behind target" and "halfway-point" lines! It SHALL happen. This is where I lost myself last year, and I shall not lose myself again!

22,118 words. 26672 by midnight.

-Annnnd, that's take 3 for "Annoying songs, by artists I hate, which are just too catchy to get out of my head". The others being "Beautiful Soul" by Jessie McCartney and a lot of things (but most notably "I'm with you") by Avril Lavine. Grrr.

-
Nano is getting somewhere, but I'm still a good 5,000 words short and facing a wall. I won't write much this weekend. With two essays due in, I won't be writing anything next week (minus procrastinating time). The week after may get a little better (only one essay due) but that will probably leave me sprinting the last 10,000 in the final weekend.

(But- last year I got caught up in the doubt and didn't finish because I gave up during week 2 also... So- gonna keep pushing.

-
I am going home tomorrow. Words cannot express the happiness that I am feeling.

(And panic as I try to finish all the fresh food I have left. I have to get rid of potatoes, bread and cheese and I've been feeling severely unhungry over the last week... So- those will probably go in the trash... It makes my cheap studenty heart weep.)

(And also worry because I don't have a present for Lucy yet, still hoping that I will barge into Forbidden Planet and one will just shout out at me. One that can also fit in my handluggage, around my clothes, that is... Maybe I'll just get her a doubley good Christmas present..?)

-
I'm meant to be getting up (I am showered and dressed but somehow still made it back to bed... :/) and going into school to collect an essay question,t hen going to do laundry and then into town to get Lcue an above mentioned present and some Euros. So far I am not... What can we do to correct this..?

First day of NaNo- is not going well (Well, it's the second day, technically, but I haven't slept yet, so it doesn't count. Actually, it's 4am, doubt I'm going to be able to sleep..). I had an idea that I've explored quite well. Well, enough that I know the basic plot (not the end, however). I don't know quite what side everyone one is on yet, but it will all resolve itself.

My problem? I did not plan my starting point very well. And my book has a *lot* of backstory. Like a killing, a few years of isolation, a war and several more years of a girl growing up and entering awkward teen-ness, with only a brother she hates and fears (and is trying to get over a weird sort of Stolkholm Syndrome-esque relationship she has with him) for company. So- the 2,000 words I've written so far is largely a boring scene of my girl (Clara- I used to have a Russian poreceline doll named Clara. Also one named Nadia, so she may come into it too...) sitting in a room going over pretty much 5 pages of her back story.

It is starting to get a little boring.

(I think I need more living characters for a start...)

I have a feeling I will just have to write the backstory out, then the real one, which is starting to sound very FF, quest for revenge, etc, and somewhere along the way (or maybe even during editing) finding where the back story will fit in.

All is not lost!

This week has been hectic, in a strange "haven't put on a pair of jeans in a while, so pretty much just been wearing sweatpants, pjs or work clothes since wednesday" (in other words, lazy) way. Monday and Tuesday were hectic with lectures, tutorials, meetings (which I never went to, because as awesome as it would have been, I can't afford to go to Spain next year. A truth that must be faced) and Robbie and I running through the campus looking for two free computers, because no one was around to take us home with them and feed us tea, and like hell were we gonna walk the 20 minutes to our respective homes (it took a while).

Wednesday- I had work (it was quiet and a little dull and I got home early, and found out it needn't take me over 20 minutes to walk to work from the bus stop. The bus stop is actually a two minute walk away. I was just going a in very time-consuming circle through a housing estate... Live and learn!). And afterwards we went out- I don't remember much of it. Not persay to alcohol, it just wasn't incredibly eventful.

(Now I know why I wasn't missing the going out scene much.)

(Also Becca burnt my pan... I wouldn't be so mad, but I know she did it out of lazy- she jsut couldn't be bothered to wash her own- and carelessness, leaving it on the hob and expecting someone else to come along and watch it. And- it's the only one I've got and it was a nice pan and it was expensive(ish) and now my food sticks to it and has a burnt taste... How do you ask someone to apologise, or at the very least, admit to it, without confrontation. Because that is something our flat has in abundance and doesn't need right now.)

And Thursday onwards has pretty much been rain, cancelled lectures bus rides that should take 15 minutes, stretching out to 45 and working. I've done 25 hours this week (which is more than I should be doing, but at £5 an hour, I appreciate everything I can get). And I get paid Friday! :D

How it's going- I don't know. I thought I was doing well- and then I screwed up infront of the owner (again) by dropping and smashing glasses in front of him and his wife's family at a funeral afterparty thing. So, inappropriate timing, yes- but! Yesterday I felt amazing about it, really on top of everything in the function room- and we made £11 each in tips!- and then today, I was thrown back into simple bar work (in a bar I was unfamiliar with, so constantly asking, "Where are the Fosters glasses?"), and I flaked, screwed up my first pint and everything seemed to crumble from there. Only going into the kitchen for an hour, doing something as simple as washing dishes, which I've done my whole life, made me feel better about it. Waitressing is easy enough, exept I overthink it and don't know all the work involved and someone takes over my role and I end up manning the bar (which is kinda what I don't want to be doing, but seem to be doing increasingly). And being caught in a war between the chefs and management ("You tell Ross to get off his lazy ass and get his own f$%&ing cream". Erm, no thank you. He's my boss).

But- all the people I work with are so really lovely, it makes it so much easier. And some of the customers (at the bar, in the Parkway, anyways) are lovely too. Last Sunday night, it was me and 6 of us, and they put on X-Factor for me! :D

So yeah- job was a big part of this week. Thankfully, I only have weekend shifts this week, so that essay I've started but needs to be finished by Friday, can take presidence.

I just had the creepiest thought ever today in my lecture.

That is, that if I died here and now, say, tomorrow (and because I'm young and pretty healthy, we can assume there's something terrible just happened)- my Forensic teacher would be the one cutting me open... I mean, would he recognise me as a pupil from my class? Would it upset him? Is he used to it by now?

(Which of course led to thoughts of how I would die and- I freak myself out much too easily.)

I don't think I like that class any more... A potent mixture of Forensics and Law & Order: SVU has warped my mind.

(Not that it wasn't already warped, but... you understand.)

With one month to go, I've gotta start thinking about my entry for NaNoWriMo this year... Even though I have at least one trip away planned (possibly another, but that will need to be more spontaneous) and at least 4 essays due and a couple exams thrown in that month... Not to mention a job that I have not started yet (just training) but already feel I shall have some heartattacks over (mostly to do with the bus I get there and back, man I gotta learn how to drive.. And get a car!)

So- better get a move on and crack some ideas. Especially as I was so disappointed in myself for only getting halfway to 50,000 last year. So, any of you guys thinking 'bout taking part?

(And any ideas? Cause anything I think of I don't think I can waffle about for 50,000 words.)

Kate has officially (FINALLY) been offered a job.

... *SQUEAL!!!!!!!*

[I'd make a 'not-so false hope(?)' tag, but we've already been there.]

-I am not quite sure what happened in that interview... But I have a feeling it went well.

Like really well.

*fingers crossed*

I'm making chilli to celebrate! I've missed being able to cook with ingredients. It's surprisingly fun, even when you've spent an hour and a half on chilli.

(But tonight, I'm not gettign drunk I will go out, slightly tipsy and come back slightly tipsy and hopefully that will be enough to have a good night.)

[EDIT: It was not.]

Had my advisor's appointment today. I was freaking out because I thought he'd talk about the failed modules (which are passed now, so all good, but whatever) and try to talk me out of Law- and onto maybe English. Because- I'm very easily persuaded in those kinda of situations. Bu th he was nice and didn't mention them and it all went very smoothly.

Also, to make up my credits (cause for my course, I need 135, and I'm only getting 120 with my regular classes), I am taking Forensic Medicine this year. This is loaded with awesome sauce.

My timetable, however, is not. I have huge gaps where I'm gonna have to go into the library and leech off the wi-fi, 'cause they're not huge enough to let me go home in between lectures. And my only Intro to European Legal Systems of a week is on at the same time as one of my two Forensic classes. And I totally tried to book my tutorials around my table, so I had something to do the two hours between Property and Commercial law on Mondays (without having to come home). But my password's being rejected and everything is all stupid. Grr, life.

Yeah, I also have an interview for a waitressing job tomorrow. I have, like, no idea where the place is, but that's what it's like with pretty much every interview I've been on, me wandering about and getting lost, and making it there just on time, but with really windswept hair. I was e-mailing the employing woman, and I totally wanted to hi-five her, she seems really nice. Which is stupid, because the last one I went on, the guy seemed totally nice as well and they never got back to me. But yeah... Trying to be cool and not getting my hopes up. Even though I need a job.

('Cause right now, it's looking like I'm gonna have to take out a seperate overdraft to buy books alone.)

We went out for Laura's birthday last night. It was meant to be a foam party, but for the two hours I was there (before Laura got very drunk and we had to take her home) there was no foam. But apparently, as soon as we left, there was lots of it. Short people nearly drowned there was so much. So yeah. Kinda glad I left, even though I paid for the foam. But- I was a little drunk by this stage also, so- maybe best the night was cut there.

The last few days have been kinda epic, me buying ingredients (with money that's just appearing from the sky) to make chilli for the rest of the week (in pita bread and baked potatoes, love!). All of us wandering around the Societies Fayre and being getting tons of free pizza, candy and condoms. And then going back to Alice's house (yes, house!) for tea.

But- feel kinda mean. I was having an awesome talk with Becca last night and she gave me loads of her Gin, and I was kinda listening to Jan this morning while she bitched about her and joining in a little... Just like- I know Becca spends lots of time with Morag, but she is spending time with us too, Jan seems to want her all to ourselves. And on the other foot, Becca does have to try a little harder, she sat in her room for most of her night ignoring us (I think maybe she heard...) and also wanted to go out last night before Jan had gotten home from work- you know, without waiting for her. Kat, Becca, Jan and me, we're sorta a unit now. We don't do *everything* together, but it'd be nice to hang out a bit more and let each other know where we're going. And if we're going out to the same place, to wait for each other and go together.

Grr, arguments are hard, not dealing with them...

Love you all, my lovelies!

I am in my new flat!!!

And sure I have no bedding, and tonight I'm sleeping with a pillowcase full of hoodies and Ive just spent a half hour failing to work out how to turn the radiator on, so I'm gonna freeze.

And the shower isn't seperated off, so every time I shower, my whole bathroom floods (and I learned this the hard way and now have to go and buy more toilet roll cause the other stuff is all soggy).

And my neck is killing me from dragging all my stuff here (the two bags I was carrying in my hands on their own were not heavy, but when I was dragged back by the one on my back, they were. Oh, and I reiterate: wheely-bags + cobblestones = NEVER AGAIN!!!). But I HAVE NO PILLOWS TO REST UPON!

And I haven't seen Jan yet, only Kathryn, and only briefly, because Nico has no flat yet and so is staying with her for a couple nights. So I'm on my own.

And I'm torn between trying to be nice to the Previously Unknown Fifth Person in our flat (her name's Alana and I know if I were stuck in a flat with four people who knew each other well, I'd be in despair. such was my worry last year) and thinking she's a little weird. But- nice.

And apparently the tenants last year didn't clean at all so Pest control had to be brought in and now I'm looking for bugs everywhere.

But I don't care. Because I have a room and I love it and I didn't buy coffee, but I have tea instead and I've pretty much spent all evening watching youtube videos and making spare pieces of paper into origami to decorate (the moon is surprisingly effing hard!!).

(I can't wait until my stuff comes and I can make this room mine!)

Okay, so I proably over-exaggerated, a tad, on Wednesday night/ thursday morning. Just- I was really upset just before I was getting on the bus and started crying when my dad drove off and just- really wanted a call from Gavin, to make me feel better. And when I couldn't find my phone- felt like I was alone and had no way of finding my way.

But it was just then that I truely wanted it. The last couple of days, I've only looked for it to see the time. I suppose, the only people I text regularly is Gavin or Lee. Or my parents, but I've called them both from Lee's phone so not so bad.

Lee's was- fun. Night one, we got a little drunk and were pestered by her stoned-and-wasted roommate, so we locked ourselves in her room. I had not slept in 40 hours and so passed out during That 70's Show. And Night Two, we went shopping with money I don't have (I got a blazer! I love it!). The best part of it was probably getting Frappuchinos and talking. But, she was being uuber cranky for parts of those two days, due to worry over work and money and her roommate trashing the flat- so kinda difficult to talk to for the rest.

And Gavin's place- I like it, it's comfortable (despite the fact that the garbage men are on strike, so there is rubbish everywhere and it's just screaming *boys apartment*) but I can't be bothered getting drunk here. Last night was Chris' birthday, but we did pretty much nothing, just sat around, watching movies and playing poker and drinking (but I seriously can't stand to drink any more, I've spent all summer like this and I need a change). I didn't mind it for then, if that was what he wanted to do, but I'd kill to get out and do something tonight. Sadly, Gavin and Damien are just so passive and content with each other, staying in Damien's room, playing PS2... I could kill them both!

Erm, so- I have gotten so fed up with watching Gavin play Wrestlemania and being ignored, that I've started playing his Sims 3. And now that I've gotten so fed up with making Damien fire the maid and then marry her (in her stats, it also says she's a kleptomaniac O.o), or giving me and Gavin an illegitemate child (which, refuses to grow up. But it's okay, Damien's maid-wife hates mess so she changes its nappies regularly), I'm writing about my life and how I'm doing sweet FA at the minute...

All I can think of doing is getting to my flat and buying coffee. I don't even like coffee, but I'm dying to buy some right now...

The internet here is a little dodgy, and they're constantly on it anyway, playing Chris' new PS3 (*want*) online, so expect no updates for the next week, until I leave Edinburgh and come back under some internet access.

Love you, F-list! Xxx

The worst feeling I've had ina very long time has to be, getting on a bus and feeling so terrified of leaving home and going off on your own, even though you've done it so many times before-

-And then realising you've forgotten your phone... Yeah.

[EDIT: Also, I love how Buffalo Springfield's 'For what it's worth' came on just as I got into this enormous line for security at the airport... Bets song to have come EVER.]

My next few days are set out as follows.

In about 2 hours, I will get on a bus to Dublin Airport, where I will wait for 3 hours and then get on a plane to Liverpool (with a surprising amount fitted into my bag, but hopefully not over 15kg!). There I will (somehow) make it to Lee's house, hang out and get drunk with her until Saturday morning when (hopefully) both of us will go down to Leeds and spent the next few days hanging out and getting drunk (and possibly making out with my boyfriend, though that part's a little iffy). Then, come next Wednesday, I will head up to Edinburgh, see my Granny (again!), sort my stuff out and eat my last meal of the year (seriously, I have NO money!) and by next Friday, I will be on my way to my new flat and student life...

-I know this sounds awful, but I am looking forward to Liverpool and Aberdeen *so* much more than Leeds. I mean... I saw him two weeks ago. I don't miss him enough to be super excited yet, and I just know either I'll crash and burn when it comes to 3 months without him or- I'll just not care so much...

(And I really really don't want it to be the latter, but I have a feeling it will be and as much as I miss feeling that huge pull to him, I have a feeling I'll be relieved... I'm not so good at missing him any more, and I *need* to do amazing this year and I just can't with this hanging over me.)

After about a dozen attempts and a couple of times making it to the middle of the book, I have regained the greatest urge to finish reading Wuthering Heights. It may be down to the costume drama made about it which idolised Cathy too much (it cut out half of her bad qualities and made her a likeable character, wtf?) and made me want to clarify the details with myself. It may be (more likely) because of the Kate Bush song.

Or it may be because... I really did, for a brief while, love this book. And then it fell down into impatience with some of the characters of the present, and then I had to put it aside for school and- I'm always bad at having to restart books I haven't yet finished yet. I don't know... I'm just- at a place where I'm feeling like- I used to feel more passionately about things. Even when that passion hurt, it was still there.. The last time I read Jane Eyre (about 3 weeks ago), I loved it, but I couldn't to the same extent. And Emily seems to suit my mood presently than Charlotte, as much as I love her.

But my copy's in Aberdeen (or, more likely, Edinburgh) so it'll be a couple of weeks yet before I get around to it Just hope I still want to read it then (and get a good couple of nights where I can).

I need summer to end. I mean, it has ended technically, but I'm still stuck here. With everyone else gone. And while I have alot planned after next week, what with going to see Lee in Liverpool (*biggrin*) next Thursday and from there maybe Leeds (dunno if I can be bothered) and Edinburgh before back to the 'Deen for Freshers week and the beginning of Year 2, all I have to celebrate the close of the summer is collecting Una from school, cooking dinner and some hoovering. And maybe a huge amount of Atellier Iris. Because it's simpler than FF and I don't have the time left to get wrapped in an FF story.

(Though maybe that's what I need...)

Whilst in the shower yesterday (washing the last of uncleanness off me, following cleaning up the entrails of what was a lovely baby shrew before my kitty mauled it), I got the most sudden random urge to read Black Beauty which as a kid, I used to read (in it's abridged easy reader form, until I was 14 and found a full copy) along with the Secret Garden.

And now that I am finished, I have a supreme urge to read that too, along with Alice in Wonderland (albeit I didn't read this till my teens. The motivation for this probably lies soemwhere in the new movie looking so gothically appealing. Only- while I can't wait to see Alan Rickman as The Caterpillar or Stephen Fry as The Cheshire Cat, I don't look forward to Johnny Depp... Not that he won't do a good job, I'm sure... But- AIW is made up of all the different stories in equal parts, that's what's good about it. Donating half the plot to him seems a tad absurd to me, and also tedious...)

(But freaken look at the Flower Garden so cool!!!)

However- through this, I have realised that I have never read Moby Dick.

I am only writing this generally. I've never felt I lost out by not reading Moby Dick, even though a lot of people I mentioned this to (mostly Americans) rave about it like there's no 'To Kill A Mockingbird'. So- members of F-list who have read what is questionably one of the cornerstones of American literacy- is it any good? Have I missed out by not reading it, and instead reading about a horse and it's trials (and being slightly weirded out that BB is pretty rleigious...).

That is all.

(I wish I'd managed to get warpaint..)

Just a note- paintballing hurts and is muddy and invaribly wet and not a fun game when everyone in it is taking it too seriously and being all cometitive and either making foul shots or arguing about said foul shotsothers made at them.

(And yes, the sky is blue and grass is green and Balthier has not yet scored on the Straal, regardless of what noises he makes late in the night to convince Fran otherwise. Truely the phrase, "So, this is my airship" has never gotten him any. He gets there waaaaay before that ;D)

I have the most awesome and painful bruise on my upper arm that I don't remember getting and one on my inner thigh that I remember getting incrediblywell... I also got shot in the ass and back too many times on my way to the 'ressurrection point' at a time when I was officially 'dead'. Just shows the honour still left in these games. But I suppose I DID hit Robert in the ass- but that was after he snuck behind our lines and started shooting us in the back. Had it coming! And I got Danny like 3 times (at quite close range, which I feel bad for now, because those things hurt alot more. But yeah, he snipered me first) which is total payback for all the times he's executed me in Halo. :D

So yeah- had fun today. Slightly surprisingly. Not because of the whole 'girls aren't as interested or good with guns'. Just- not usually a combat person. At the beginning, I couldn't really move without being hit and I got a firm sense that i had no idea what I was doing. But towards the end, I just did my own thing and I felt like, "Doesn't matter if I get shot anymore, just take someone out before I go down". And it gets fun when you stop thinking "Argh, I'm gonna die!!!" and start firing randomly and acting free. Not something I'm gonna repeat in a while, but certainly something I'd like to get better at. Yay for warfare!

(And Lucy got amazing towards the end, just gunning things down. Scary but mostly funny...)

(-I am lousy at French. But I want this song played at my wedding. That is, if one ever happens for me.)

I suck at updating this summer. But I have the excuse of my really rubbish home computer and its pathetically slow connection (every time I try to sign into MSN, it closes down).

But right now I am lying in Morag and Laura's flat, in Laura's room (she is away), on my lovely laptop with their speedy wireless internet and at ease. This is a little surprising (I don't know Morag well, I was meant to be staying with Becca, but I'm just glad of the bed now), but in a good way, and Morag is lovely, and I get on quite well with Chris when weget together, and Ryan's very easy to talk to, so it's all good.

I have a repeat tomorrow, but I am calm. I have prepared for it- I only need to do a little last-minute recall of some acts and I shall be fine.

I have been travelling every day for the last three days, to Edinburgh, to Aberdeen, and tomorrow it's back to Edinburgh. But, despite this (and my lack of sleep and my very peculiar dreams when sleep does come- largely involving armies of demons, and hiding in trees and abandoned mansions with huge plaster statues that I think Murpheys on the Green may have inspired a tad), I am relatively alert and comfortable.

And I miss Gavin, but not overly so. I mean, every now and then I get a little stab of it. But on the whole, I'm okay with being away from him, so long as I can contact him and I know I'll see him in a little while (when it's going to be months, I am not quite so okay). Actually feeling a little guilty of this, because he keeps telling me how much he misses me, but- over the last few days, I've felt a little crowded and he hasn't been able to make me feel so good (Saturday night, the last time I saw him, he got drunk and asked me to come back to his free house- where he- and then i- fell asleep, woke up, woke me up, told me I should go and I had to get a taxi home at like 6am- which is when I found my house locked and I had to climb in through the window. C'est la vie. En rose)- so, maybe best I give him space from the hormones raging inside me or else I'll hit him. And he'll deserve it.

All in all, I am fairly peaceful tonight, Facebook Livejournal. Woops.

Peace out x